…don't look back in anger
Back in the 90s, I had a bit of a Brit-pop moment (still do actually!). It was a battle between Blur and Oasis and I was firmly in camp Oasis. The title of this week’s blog is actually from the song of the same name. Before you think you’ve wandered into the wrong blog, stick with me, because I’m going somewhere. As I write this piece it’s the 14th January and I’m thinking ” whaaat? It’s the middle of January already? Time is speeding by so fast and I have nothing to show for it so far”. If you, like me, had a bit of a challenge meeting your goals last year then this post is for you.
The first thing I’d like to say is “what’s done is done”. Don’t wallow, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Figure out what went wrong and plan to do things differently this time round. The mistake that a lot of us make is that we allow ourselves to become paralysed by what did or did not happen. In reality, that doesn’t help us one little bit. It’s a bit like trying to drive a car forwards, whilst looking in the rear view mirror all the time. Don’t let your past define you. Learn from it, let the experiences move you forward, not drag you backwards. Re-write the script, re-invent yourself and start being the fabulous person you were created to be.
Secondly, as important as it is, not to allow yourself to be defined by the past (so-called mistakes and all); it’s just as important to decide what you stand for now. You need to know what you stand for now, so you can choose how to define yourself moving forward. A lot of us are still defining ourselves according to what other people say about us. Many times those definitions no longer suit us (if they ever did). They are often confining and sometimes painful. I’m still doing the “one word” challenge and this year I have not one but two fantastic words. The first one is ‘faithfulness’. ‘Faithful’ has a couple of meanings, but the one that I’m focusing on is “steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant”. My second word is ‘fruitfulness’ and the definition I’m going for is “producing good results; beneficial; profitable”. These are the two words that I want to be defined by this year and they are very exciting to me. In order to achieve anything worthwhile, you usually have to go through a process. The only way to get good results (be fruitful) is by sticking to the plan (being faithful) and persevering.
Lastly, I’d say cut yourself some slack and fill up your hope jug while you’re at it. A lot of us have lost hope- hope in ourselves, hope in other people or hope that the process will produce results. We beat ourselves up about not achieving our goals and in time, we actually give up hope that we will ever achieve them. If you trudge through life thinking that, then you’re right, you won’t achieve what you want. There’s something so powerful and so joyful about hope. Hope gets you up in the morning. Hope makes you think, if there’s life, then there’s a chance that I can turn this thing around. The old saying is “where there is life, there is hope”. I think it should be, “where there is hope, there is life”. Without hope, everything seems so grim and grey and who wants to go through life like that?
I end with a couple of questions: what are you going to do? Are you going to throw yourself the biggest pity party ever and give up on hope? Or are you going to find some words to live by this year and make 2016 your best year yet? The good news is that we can help you either way. If you want to stop with the wallowing, coaching is a great way to do that. Want to find some great words to live by? Coaching can help with that too. Kickstart your year by contacting us on +234 706 335 0864 or through the website. We’re waiting to hear from you.
Until next time, go well.