29 Mar

Can you recognize yourself in the mothers of the Past or the Present?
In the past:

  • Mothers complemented one another
  • There was a strong sense of values
  • There was communal effort
  • There was contentment
  • There was high moral values
  • Mothers were role models
  • Mothers had time for their children
  • Society norms reinforced family discipline
  • Media messages were conservative and tended towards encouraging good morals
  • Mothers listened to other mothers correcting their children and allowed their children to be corrected by others

Now in the present:

  • There is lack of fear of God/Allah
  • There is much more peer pressure
  • There is a lack of discipline
  • There is much more only-child, only-boy syndrome (over-indulge the only child, or only boy)
  • There is much more negative media influence – internet and TV – children are allowed too much freedom to watch and read indiscriminately
  • There is heightened disintegration of the family unit through separation and divorce
  • There is loose moral ties
  • Mothers do not have enough time for their children
  • Society is filled with the wrong role models
  • There is too much emphasis on getting wealthy (without working hard for it)
  • There is more provocative dressing even by mothers

As a mother – whether single, married, stay-at-home, or career/professional – what are you doing to instill the correct values of the past into your children and family? Are you making excuses for yourself and your children? Do you blame others for the way your child is being raised?
What can mothers do to remedy these societal and family ills?

  1. Have a family altar where the word of God/Allah is studied and prayers offered together as a family
  2. We should be praying mothers
  3. We should intentionally make time to be available for parenting
  4. There should be intent in loving other parents and providing positive criticism when necessary
  5. We should reform ourselves first for one another
  6. Create time for effective communication with children such as having dinner together and family meeting, where mothers genuinely interact and engage with their children and ask them questions and encourage them to also ask questions
  7. Reinforce positive behaviors
  8. Inspect our children’s phones and social media accounts regularly and unannounced. In this way, mothers will be able to monitor the interactions of our children with modern media and with their friends
  9. Get to know the friends of our children
  10. Invest quality, individual time with our children
  11. Encourage the fathers to also stay involved in the training of the children

 
This article is used with permission from the author.
Author: Mrs. Ime-Eka Chukwuma Ahiakwo

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